Lover Awakened (Book 3)

“I'm not broken, I'm ruined. Do you understand the difference? With broken maybe you can fix things. Ruined? All you can do is wait to bury me.”

-Zsadist to Mary

Lover Awakened is the third novel of The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward. It is preceded by Lover Eternal and followed by Lover Revealed. It was first published on September 5, 2006.

The story of The Black Dagger Brotherhood and their ongoing war with The Lessening Society is continued with Zsadist and Bella.

Synopsis[]

In the shadows of the night in Caldwell, New York, there’s a deadly war raging between vampires and their slayers. And there exists a secret band of brothers like no other - six vampire warriors, defenders of their race.

Of these, Zsadist is the most terrifying member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood.

A former blood slave, the vampire Zsadist still bears the scars from a past filled with suffering and humiliation. Renowned for his unquenchable fury and sinister deeds, he is a savage feared by humans and vampires alike. Anger is his only companion, and terror is his only passion—until he rescues a beautiful aristocrat from the evil Lessening Society.

Bella is instantly entranced by the seething power Zsadist possesses. But even as their desire for one another begins to overtake them both, Zsadist’s thirst for vengeance against Bella’s tormentors drives him to the brink of madness. Now, Bella must help her lover overcome the wounds of his tortured past, and find a future with her…

Main Characters[]

Zsadist ("Z")

Bella

Other Characters[]

Black Dagger Brotherhood Members[]

Others - Speaking Roles[]

Mentioned or Non-Speaking Roles[]

Mr. U

Plot[]

Readers should be aware that this book contains kidnapping, rape, and slavery.

Taken as an infant from his family, Zsadist was forced into blood and sexual slavery to a vampire noble known only as The Mistress. She uses an aphrodisiac ointment to get him erect against his will, sharing him with close friends, and has him marked with traditional blood slave markings: black tattooed bands around his throat and wrists, typical feeding sites. Phury spent his adult life searching for his twin, finally ingratiating himself with the Mistress. When he finds his twin, Z doesn't recognize him. During the escape, the guards slice an S-shaped wound on Z's face and Phury's forced to shoot off part of one leg to free himself. They dive into the ocean, the saltwater setting Z's wound into a scar.

Zsadist is known for his misogyny, rumours abounding that he kills women stemming from an instance when Wrath found him having particularly brutal sex with a human woman. Z admits that he gets off on the screams of women, although it's later revealed that he's never masturbated, let alone had an orgasm. Whenever he feels a need to be punished or to feel pain, he asks Phury to whip him like he did to assuage his guilt after the rhythe ceremony in the previous book, Lover Eternal.

Despite his antipathy towards women, Z cleaned up the mess from Bella's abduction at her farmhouse and found a diamond necklace in the debris. He washes off the blood and wears it much like a choker. He continues to visit her home even though everyone assumes she's dead; her family held a Fade ceremony.

John Matthew has moved in with Tohrment and Wellsie, who treat him like a son, and he meets Wellsie's cousin, Sarelle, while the women are planning the winter festival. John and Sarelle hit it off and she tells him that they were probably introduced so that she could see him through his transition. John sees a therapist to deal with his rape a year prior on Havers recommendation and at the behest of Tohrment and Wellsie. Butch gets protective when John's upset afterwards and wasn't going to take John there again until he saw how serious the therapist was when she said she thought John should make another appointment. He offers to drive John anywhere he wants and John asks Butch to take him back to his old apartment where the rape happened. When he first meets the other recruits, some of them react negatively when they learn he's mute due to the obsession of the aristocracy with perfection. Zsadist caught Lash bullying John and picked him up off the ground with a chokehold and told Lash that Z would pop out his eyeballs and feed them to him. Lash was so terrified he peed himself.

Bella was kidnapped by Mr. O in Lover Eternal and by the start of Lover Awakened has been held captive for several weeks in a pit at the Lessening Society's compound. Mr. O used to beat his former wife, Jenny, until she was unconscious, then would clean her up and rape her as a twisted form of apology. He sees his dead wife in Bella and treats her much the same way, enjoying it more because a vampire can take more abuse than a human, although sexual assault is never explicitly stated. At one point, he carves his first name, David, into her abdomen.

Mr. O brought in a civilian male for her to feed from, but they were interrupted by another Lesser. To prevent word getting out that he's become attached to a vampire, he kills the other Lesser. While Mr. O's distracted, Bella frees the unnamed male and asks him to tell her family that she's still alive, for which she is beaten severely.

Z hears the civilian's story and goes to rescue Bella, bringing her back to his room in the mansion where Havers treats her. The doctor warns that she's close to her Needing and gives the Brotherhood a dose of morphine to sedate her for it. When she wakes up, she can't see properly due to an ointment Havers put on her eyes and screams in fear. Phury, hearing the sound, bursts into the room to find a terrified Bella and a partially dressed Z crouching near her. Misunderstanding the situation, Phury tries to move Bella to a room next to his.

Bella goes back to Z's room where she feels safe and refuses to feed from anyone but him. Zsadist doesn't want her to have to bite through his slave bands and feels that his blood is too tainted, too filthy to feed her. After the first time they have sex, Zsadist confessed to Bella that he'd never orgasmed before. He'd pulled out and came all over her, but his conviction that he's filthy forces him to bathe her immediately afterwards. He's convinced that she'll remember she's an aristocrat and be disgusted by him.

When Bella goes into her Needing, he's forced to overcome the distaste of his body by servicing her. Afterwards, he intended to go out to fight, but Bella was afraid that she'd drained him too much during her Needing and in front of the Brotherhood tells him that he's too weak. Accusing a warrior of weakness is effectively socially castrating him and she immediately realizes she was in the wrong. She confessed to the censorious Brotherhood that she feared for his safety because she loved him, this mollified the Brothers. Wrath warns Bella that Rehvenge requested seclusion for her.

Mr. O goes to Rehvenge's home in search of what happened to Bella and finds the place empty, Rehvenge and his mahmen at a safe house in case this happened. Mr. O found signs of mourning and assumes that she died. While leaving, he finds Wellsie and Sarelle there in hopes that Magdelina, Rehv and Bella's mother, had apples for the winter festival. (The apples were scarce because the Lessening Society bought them up in order to flush out more vampires). He shoots Wellsie, killing her.

Phury was injured and isn't healing properly because he hasn't been feeding. Bella offers, but he asks if she's "bled yet" after her Needing, afraid to feed from her if she's pregnant. She says no, but that she's cramping which means it's coming soon and couldn't be pregnant.

Later, Phury injected Z with the morphine originally intended to sedate Bella for her Needing, shaved his own head, and went to meet Mr. O, who held Sarelle hostage. Mr. O mistook Phury for his twin and took out his anger and frustration for losing Bella by torturing Phury. Zsadist goes to Bella, who had fed Phury when he was injured after a fight with the Lessers, to get her to track him using the connection of her blood in his system.

Once they arrive at the compound, Mr. O incapacitates Z, but is shocked when he sees Bella, who he'd thought was dead. He goes to her in wonder and she allows him to touch her so she can get him close enough to shoot him in the head. When he's down, she takes one of Z's knives and destroys Mr. O, ignoring Zsadist's orders for her to get away to safety and leave them. She makes Z drink from her to save his life, then they get the twins into the bed of a truck she finds at the compound. They're forced to leave Sarelle's body to retrieve later.

On their way to Havers, Z sings to Phury, who's convinced he's dying and angels are singing him into the Fade. Finding his brother like that forced Z to understand what his brother went through when he found him and realizes how cruel he's been to Phury in his own pain. While they recuperate in the clinic under Butch's watchful eye, Z hugs Phury for what appears to be the first time and apologizes for having Phury hurt him. Phury tells him that he'd rather give Z what he needs than have him go to someone else who might not love him or understand.

Phury's welcomed home with hugs from Beth and Mary and Z wished he was welcomed the same way, but understands that he'd deliberately frightened them upon their first meetings. While they don't hug Z, they do tell him that they are glad that he is home safe. Tohrment disappeared after Wellsie's death and Zsadist volunteered to run the training program. While everyone was stunned by his offer, he assumed that meant they all found him unworthy. Wrath and the Brotherhood support him.

Unable to bear Zsadists continual rebuffs, Bella goes to North Carolina. When she comes back two months later, she finds Mary's teaching him how to read and write. He's made progress in being less of a "mean bastard," is feeding regularly and taking care of his health, and hopes to be friends with Bella as he understands that he hurt her and doesn't expect her to want more with him. He writes "I love you" on a piece of paper and gives it to her.

Bella sees the progress he's made and confesses she still loves him, that she's pregnant, and asks him to mate her. At first, Z is too shocked to respond, then in his enthusiasm, Z immediately wants to go to Rehvenge to ask for his blessing so they can get married that night. While Havers advised no dematerializing after the sixth month and no sex or feeding males after the fourteenth, Zsadist refuses to allow her dematerialize to her brother's place.

When Bella tells him he'll be a wonderful father, he faints and the sound of it brings the household running. When he comes to, Rhage (who wants to teach the young how to fight) and Wrath are the first to congratulate him. Z cried and while he felt it's a sign of weakness, he felt safe surrounded by friends and family.

At the safe house, Madalina, who was dressed in a black robe and dripping with diamonds, falls to her knees at Z's feet in thanks for saving her daughter. Bella was shocked since she knew her mother was very devout and had acted as though the news of Bella's survival was nothing to celebrate since it was all fated to be. Rehv made a crude remark that Z was mating Bella since he knocked her up, shocking his mahmen and sister. Z told him to lose the tough guy act or he'd take him outside and teach him not to upset the females.

In a flash-forward to 20 months later, an unnamed recruit went back into the gym after class to get something he forgot and found Zsadist working on a punching bag. He stares at Z in awe of his fighting skills. There are rumours about him among the recruits: he carved up his face himself, he murders women for fun and kills recruits who don't make the cut. Bella carries her newborn daughter into the gym who's fussing for her father and only calms when she's snuggled into his neck. The recruit sees Bella's and Nalla's names on Z's back before Zsadist warns him not to miss the bus.

Lover Awakened (Book 3)

Contents